I’m living my dream job. Someone asked the other day, if I could attempt any job other than what I am doing now, what would it be? I honestly don’t want to do anything else. In fact, I want to do MORE of what I am already doing!
Can you have too much of a good thing?
I’ve gone after the dream, I’ve scaled the mountain of business ownership, but before I set off on another hike, I think I need to stop and enjoy this view for a little while!
Okay, was that long enough…?
I am 34 years old. Seven years ago my husband and I opened a tiny, take out only bbq joint hidden in a kind of creepy alley in a small sleepy town in western Washington. Needless to say, a lot of people thought we were crazy! Well it’s a good thing, because 7 years later I have realized that it takes a special kind of crazy to be a chef. And I’m good at this kind of crazy!
Our business has had an interesting journey, peaks and pits, but we have found a good home in a historic, much bigger, much better located building. I’ve gone from tired employee to tired employer! Business is good…. too good some days. Every day is an adventure of managing 14 employees, food costs, labor costs, cleaning schedules, side work, ordering, cooking, serving, menu planning, paper work, coffee…. lots of coffee… arguing with my husband, celebrating with my husband, congratulating myself, doubting myself, board meetings, community events, restoring a 100 year old building, and creating my empire!
Throw in an occasional round of golf, a few good beers, and a scraggly little one eyed, 4-legged dog child, and you’ve got one sweet life. Orthodox it is not, but interesting it most definitely is.
Now, with all this good stuff, I still face the normal stuff. I just can’t figure out how to fit normal into my not so normal life. Regardless, what little normal is hidden in me somehow manages to manifest itself as a form of guilt for not being what a good woman is supposed to be. Gross, isn’t it? Stupid hormones! But what if I’m missing something? I’m the kind of person that leaves the radio on scan because I don’t want to miss a good song on another station. But even if I do find a good song I’m afraid to stop it because there might be an even better song a few stations away. I’m not necessarily looking for greener grass elsewhere, I’d just prefer to own All of the grass!
The children topic has been popular food for thought in my brain lately. I went to a self-help class the other day! I know, barf! But my resolution this year is to find a better balance between my personal and my professional life. The first question our self serve guru asked this class of all middle aged women was Where Do You Want To Be In 5 Years? I want another business. I have a good idea stuck up my sleeve, and I’m anxious to open this new venture before someone else has the same idea. On the other hand, 5 years from now I will be 39. The window of opportunity for children is closing. My husband wants to be a father. He would make a Great father. I just don’t know if I want children, and I’m running out of time to decide. The thing is, I’m happy with my life, but I might also be happy with that life. How do you make the choice to leave what you KNOW makes you happy for something that you THINK may make you happy as well??? Will I regret not having children? Will I be able to keeping working at my restaurant after children? Will I still be able to open another business with children? Will I regret it if I don’t? Will I even care??? I am a perpetual planner. It’s worked well for me in the progression of my career. But I am a ball of energy right now. I am ready to move. I just can’t seem to decide which direction to go.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. It is my true belief that we make the world a better place and our experience in it richer if we share our experience together. I do that through food at my restaurant, Smoking Mo’s in Shelton, Washington, and through my story telling here. I deeply thank you for joining me on this adventure, and for giving me the love and encouragement to keep moving forward.